


Unrequited Love

by Jean_does_not_have_a_horseface



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Chapter 89 spoilers, Death, F/M, Sad, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-09
Updated: 2017-06-09
Packaged: 2018-11-11 14:27:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,135
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11150319
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jean_does_not_have_a_horseface/pseuds/Jean_does_not_have_a_horseface
Summary: Contains heavy spoilers for chapter 89 of the manga, please don't read if you haven't reached there yet.





	Unrequited Love

**Author's Note:**

> You were in love with Erwin. And after his passing you relied heavily on Levi. Only to realize one day that for as long as you've known Levi he has loved you and done everything he could to provide you happiness. Including not pursuing you in prior years when she showed interested in Erwin. 
> 
>  
> 
> This was requested on my Tumblr account, but since I only take requests there anymore, I'm posting it here. Enjoy<3

"What?" 

You couldn't believe in your own eyes and ears. It wasn't Erwin's passing that had you so shook at moment; it was pretty worse when you learnt about it a month ago, but this... this outdid every other reaction you had in a death.

 

"You're telling me you saved some kid, instead of Erwin? How stupid are you, Levi? Erwin and I would get married after that expedition."

Levi's stoic eyes stared deep in your watery (e/c) orbs. His face was cold as always, only his jaw was clenched as a sign of any emotion. Inside his heart was breaking by your earth wrecking sobs, but now was not the time for him to show this. You'd probably shut your doors to him forever, thinking he purposely chose Armin, so he could have you all to him self. 

And Levi wasn't like that. Levi was the only person you had relied onto after hearing that your beloved Erwin was dead, the only one who took care of you. He even helped you eat, bathe and dress when needed, since depression would take away some of your good days. Still you couldn't get used to not seing Erwin every day, not being able to touch him.

 

"When I made the decision he was already dead. If it wasn't for that Jaeger brat and Ackerman, I would have injected him sooner. But I'm sure thirteen more years with him wouldn't be pleasant. Unless you like the feeling of being chased by the devil."

 

"Oh please. Tell me now! Why didn't you chose him Levi? You wanted to be commander?"

 

"I already told you" He watched as you broke down once again, into loud sobs that shook through your whole body. It hurt him so much to see you like that, torturing your self for answers that have been given to you a thousand times. 

 

Levi kneeled to your side and wrapped an arm around your fragile body. Your shaking was much more intense now in his arms and he wanted to cry too himself, but he wouldn't do this to you. Slowly, he rubbed soothing circles on your forearm, just where his hand fell, hearing as your sobs got more muffled every second passing.

"Please don't cry anymore (Y/n). He wouldn't want this. Trust me when I say that there's nothing I wouldn't give to bring him back. Erwin saved me. If it wasn't for him, my body would probably be rotting in a dark corner in the underground. You were lucky to have him fall in love with you too. And, his last wish was for me to take care of you, just like he would."

 

You didn't know if you wanted to cry more or cling into Levi for dear life. Just the mere thought of watching Erwin dying gave you chills, but you could see him saying this to his loyal companion. It broke your heart knowing that he probably died with sorrow, because he couldn't see you. Who knows though, what kind of moments of life did he reminisced before he died? Were you in them? 

Probably... You were Erwin's other half for years. He was the one who insisted he wouldn't let you go anywhere without him. He had promised he'd stay alive for you to have a huge family in a house nearby the sea. But knowing him, knowing he died before he made his promise a reality, you couldn't feel betrayed. You prayed to anything and anyone that was above you that Erwin was in peace now.

 

"Levi I'm so sorry" you finally mattered, once your crying seemed to come to an end.

"Tch...For what?"

"For saying you did this to be a commander"

His eyes were more tired and soft and sad than you'd ever seen them. You watched as his nose cringled and the corners of his lips turned upwards so slightly. "It's fine. I'd forgive anything you did or say"

 

____________

 

During the next months you couldn't help but notice how Levi would never want to leave your side. Convincing your self that it was because Erwin had told him so, you did the same. You'd never leave his side, as his companion was the only you had. Knowing that only ten people had survived from the Survey Corps your choices of companions were limited.

 

But it wasn't just that. It wasn't that the number of people who had died in the time if four months was a hundred times higher than the number of people who had died in these years in the Scouting Regiment.

Levi could have had someone keep an eye on you, but he chose to take care of you himself. He could have been this stoic man he always was when around you, but he chose to let his guard down and smile, even laugh and you'd fool your self if you didn't want to admit the obvious.

You always thought Levi wasn't romantically or sexually interested in women, or even people to be exact. You had figured that he just didn't want that, but you had never got into the depths of this, since you hadn't really cared, but now it was all clear.

Levi, whom you knew for so many years. Ever since he came to the Scouts, at your young cadet days, had feelings for you. It was so obvious, right in front of your very eyes and he's been the best at hiding it.

 

He's been so kind and patient. Never wanting to ruin your happiness with Erwin and you could see it now. Why he had became so distant when you had expressed your liking towards Erwin, or why he'd always try to sacrifice himself to protect you in expeditions, when you clearly were far away from Erwin.

 

Levi's been only trying to provide you with a happiness galore all these years and you had failed to see it. He's never stepped in anything that included you and Erwin, and you knew that he probably had wanted to die instead of Erwin so you could be happy.

 

It pained you even more now. You could see the love in his eyes every day, as he looked at you, and that he knew he could never have you. That it was enough for him to be close to you and given a chance to protect you. He put your happiness and your health above his whole being and he's only been doing that for so many years now.

 

You promised yourself that one day, when all the sorrow of Erwin's death had abandoned your body, you'd love Levi too, in the way he loved you. You wouldn't torture his feelings anymore. Because Levi, out of all people, deserved to love and to be loved.

**Author's Note:**

> If you have a request my ask box on Tumblr is always open. You'll find me at @jean-does-not-have-a-horseface.
> 
>  
> 
> Let me know if you like it<3


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